Inspirational

Inspirational

Finding Release in Moments of Rest

I’m a perfectionist. I’m sure I’m not alone here. I think many of us as women, as moms, are.  As a perfectionist, I strive to do things right… the first time. If I’m going to do something, I work and work at whatever I have to accomplish until I succeed at it. If  I know that I won’t be able to achieve that kind of success, I don’t waste my time on it. I move on to something else because the result won’t be what I know it should be… in my mind. It doesn’t matter if the plans I have sketched up in my mind are impossible to create. If  I can picture it, I can accomplish it. I’ll make it happen. To many others in my life, the standards to which I hold myself are just as impossible and unrealistic as picturing an image in one’s mind and drawing it out on paper. I just continue to remind them that there are standards I live by as a woman, a Christian woman, a mom, and a wife. I call them “my convictions”.   Applying What I’ve Learned Now, when something pops out in my quiet time, a time I set apart to be with God, I do my very best to follow it. For example: Colossians 3:17 says, “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” Now, what I do when I read something and I proceed to follow and obey God, I picture what area I can apply what I’ve learned and without trying to, I end up with this mental image of what that will look like. I see myself sitting down with my two-year-old little girl, engaging in sweet, eye-to-eye conversation, explaining to her that she cannot take things from her older brother because that is stealing and stealing is a sin and it hurts others. I even imagine winning my son over with soft, loving words, encouraging him to tell the truth despite there being a consequence or not because the bible says there’s freedom from it. There’s freedom from all sin. Not consequences, but the bondage of it. Of course, you know, this is not how it goes. Instead, I end up living day after day, reminding  my children, and myself, that we are human and nothing goes to plan. Does that stop me from continuing to be a perfectionist? From doing too much? No.   Release In Moments of Rest “He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.” Psalms 23:2  I gave birth to my third child, my sweet baby boy, Noah, on January 3rd of this year. He was a healthy baby. Three weeks after, I ended up with a prolapsed bladder so I scheduled an appointment and was referred to a Physical Therapist who specializes in pelvic floor therapy. Now, as you know, our bodies go through a lot during pregnancy. Our core muscles are no longer tightened. You may notice this when you go to get up from laying down on the floor and you can’t get up as easily or maybe you go to do a sit-up and you find that your body can’t. This was my case. I was supposed to lie on the table to perform some stretches and test my core strength. And so, I was tasked with learning how to contract, not only my core muscles but my pelvic muscles. And I succeeded. Too much. My body went into overload and I suddenly forgot how to release my body from contracting and stretching my muscles. You know, this process has got me thinking about some things. As I walk with God, I find that He teaches me things in any and every moment He can get my attention.  Through this, I have learned that I have a tendency to walk tense or stiff manner. In a contraction.  I’ve forgotten what it’s like to walk from a stance of release. Release of everyday responsibilities and situations. Sure, when things go great and I accomplish tasks or goals when my relationships are going well, I am at rest. I don’t walk in a contraction. I walk in release. On the mountain, I’m at peace and rest. Not all the time, but more so on my mountain. In the valley, I lose focus on every good thing I’ve experienced on the mountaintop. I tense up. I live in a state of stress and forget what it’s like to live in total surrender. I can forget what God is like and who He is in the storms, the busyness, and the struggles.  Honestly, even on the mountaintop, it’s easy to forget to live at rest and release.  Things are going well so we move on to the next thing and the next thing. Never stopping to rest. Never stopping to release. Can I remind you to let go of everything good and bad, our tendencies, responses, and everything going on in our lives, and release them?   Seek Release  Find God in the release. Allow Him to show you more of Him than you’ve ever experienced. Don’t just slow down. Breathe. Release. Be still. In every moment, good and bad. Release.  “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:30  Did you know that the standards we hold ourselves to can be so burdening, they exhaust us? Self-care or the lack of it can burden us if we don’t first find release and rest in God, for our souls. Not just our bodies. Our minds need release and rest. Our bodies do too. But so does our soul. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. -1 Kings 19:12 We can find God in our everyday lives, but I have found, when I experience rest and release, it’s
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May 2, 2023
Yellow Building
Inspirational

The Beginning Of Conflict Resolution

I can’t tell you how much I want to say I have this down. This was a big eye-opener for me. You see, I recently found out that a dear friend of mine has been speaking unkind things about someone I love and lying. Honestly, my reaction was of hurt and brokenness. Externally I was quiet and listening to someone tell me what was being said about them by this person. Internally though, I questioned why they would deliberately and intentionally lie and say such things?  I mean, this person is a good friend of mine. This person knows that the things they are saying aren’t true. I kept playing it over and over, finding myself getting angrier, and the pain kept driving in deeper and deeper. It felt as if someone had put a knife inside one’s back and wanted to keep pressure on it. I hesitated to write about this as this is very new. I want to tread carefully through this, but I think, at times, it’s important to write about the journeys we face while we face them. It’s easier to write about something once you’ve gone through it all and know the outcome, but to write from the trenches, that’s another story… literally. My Response You see, my instant reaction was to that of protection because it was my husband being spoken about. Anyone who knows him would know he would never intentionally hurt anyone. Whatever decisions he makes is, first, to glorify God. Second, serve and provide for his family; third isn’t done out of contempt, malice, pride, or selfishness. He’s not perfect. I’ll be the first to say that while we try our best to uplift, encourage, and help each other grow in Christ, sometimes we fall short. So… why would a person, particularly someone so close to us, and has seen who we are the most and who has been an amazing part of our lives, say these horrible things about my husband and his character? And why would they not come to him to resolve any issues? Why go to someone else and hurt new relationships my husband is developing? How God Wants Me To Respond I know my emotional responses are normal, but as I experienced them, I wondered how my responses might affect my husband. He’s calm and collected most of the time, but he is also human. Does he have the right to be upset? Absolutely, but what kind of outcome will he produce by allowing himself to get worked up? Was he troubled at all? The last thing I wanted was to cause more issues and drive the pain in more if he’s already struggling. So, after a long while, I turned to Chad and told him I was upset for him. I was protective and hurt. We talked a little bit more, then I quietly turned to God, peacefully surrendering my thoughts, feelings, and perceptions of the whole situation. Regardless of it all, we know that the Bible says to go and make amends with someone. In this case, this person is very closed off, defensive, and the timing would not be appropriate. So what do we do? What do I do? The first thing to do is not operate from a place of hurt and anger. The best course of action is to admit that we are genuinely affected and to take it to God in prayer. Asking Him to soften our hearts and help us see things we don’t. This is the moment when we should start praying for conflict resolution to begin with God working in people’s hearts and for Him to be what people need right now. (Matthew 5:44 NASB) “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” For myself, I needed to pray that my heart won’t turn cold and hard against this person and that God will continue to mold, grow, and show His love to him as God does to us. I needed to pray that if my husband did wrong this person, the Holy Spirit would reveal this and work in my husband’s heart, giving him discernment and wisdom. I must pray for God’s love to abound in all our hearts, and that peace would be sought. Romans 14:19 says, “So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” Our approach to saying and doing things will negatively or positively impact their response. We must be careful and do what we can to glorify God, loving others so that they’ll be won over through God’s love. This is how we can accomplish restoration. I don’t have many answers right now, but I don’t need them. God knows the result. I need to pray for them, their relationship, and allow God to work in me, using this time to teach and grow me as well.
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March 6, 2022
Inspirational

 What God Knows I Need

Life is an adventure. No day is exactly the same, and sometimes, the days look nothing alike. We laugh at the funny moments that come our way and cry when things hurt. And we usually do this alongside someone. There’s usually someone we can always go to. The one person who is always there for us, ready to laugh with us, cry with us, and hand us the tissue when we need it. He, or she, may hug us, hold us, comfort us, laugh with us, and help us when we need them. Can you think of this person right now? Who comes to your mind? Is it your mother or father? A daughter or best friend? Your husband? Maybe you have more than one person that you go to. There’s one person in particular that I go to. This is my husband, Chad. I know God brought him into my life, and I love sharing life with him. There’s no one else that I’d prefer to do life with. If I’m sick, he’s there. If my kids are not interested in listening to me, my husband backs me up. And he’s great with them! Sure, life isn’t perfect. We’ve had our ups and downs. We’ll have been married for ten years come February 25th, and I can say that I don’t think we have this marriage thing down perfectly, but it’s okay. I have my husband to walk through it with me. Despite having such an amazing husband, there’s one person much more available, present, and eager to be close to me. God. He meets me where I am every day. He notices every action I take, knows my reasons behind them, and is faithful. Back in 2012, I had a miscarriage. My husband and I weren’t trying to have kids at that time, but it was a welcomed gift. Unfortunately, we only had a few days to celebrate being parents when our baby went to be home with Jesus. It sucked. We were in mourning. Chad was there for me through it all. Sensitive, kind, and compassionate. Still, nothing could fill the emptiness inside. For years, I prayed to God, asking Him why this happened. Asking Him why He would give us a baby and take our baby away. I became angry inside. One moment, mad at God. Then next, mad at my body. God Was Still There During the next four and a half years, God would show me how present He was. He would give me reminders throughout His word. In my quiet times with Him, God would point out His presence in people’s lives when they felt alone. He’d show me where He acknowledged their pain and a time when He cried as well. (Psalms 139:7) “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?” Jesus was friends with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Lazarus had died, and Jesus came to raise him from the dead. Lazarus’ sisters didn’t know this, and both spoke to the Lord. They knew He was powerful and could have saved their brother if He had come sooner, and yet, they still loved Jesus. They still trusted Him. As Jesus saw Mary and other jews mourning and crying around Him, He was moved. (John 11:33-35) “When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the other Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, and said, ‘Where have you laid him?’ They said to Him, ‘Lord, come see.’ Jesus wept.” When I felt pain and sorrow, I slowly began to see that He was present and cared for me. His heart was tender for me. I still didn’t have answers to why miscarriages are allowed to happen. But, little by little, that didn’t matter as much. I was being met by Him, and I was noticing it. As time moved on, I began to feel His presence more and more. I was no longer feeling overcome by pain. I was starting to experience His being present in my life. He met my need to know He understood loss in a way unique to me. I had to see that I could trust Him and that I hadn’t been. I needed to be reminded that He was with me through the good and the bad in my life. And when I started living in the confidence of His love, presence in my life, and care for me, it brought me to the point that I could surrender my baby’s life into His hands. I could mourn. I could come to Him about my baby. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) Giving To God And Letting Go Grieving was hard, but healing too. I was learning to trust God with my baby. As time went on, I found myself asking God to give my baby hugs and kisses for me. Little by little, I pictured our first introductions when we got to heaven and how special it would be! Days would turn into weeks which turned into months between missing and crying for our baby. But it was getting better. I’d be able to look back and remember my first symptoms and how exciting it was. When your baby is inside you, you are connected in so many ways. As years went by, our desire to have children grew strong. Nothing happened, but we’d continue to trust God. After a while, I started having dreams. One dream, in particular, God used to reach out and touch me. I dreamt I was pregnant. In my dream, I was pretty far along. Big belly. Elated. Blessed. I looked down and couldn’t see my feet, but I didn’t mind. People around me celebrated and talked about the baby, and suddenly, God spoke to me. He said, “Natasha, I love you. I want you to be happy. If having this baby will make you happy, I’ll bless you.
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February 25, 2022
Inspirational

Faithfulness Over Worry

I love taking care of my children. They love each other so much. As soon as Kealem sees his little sister, Emberlynn, he runs up and greets her with the biggest smile on his face. He opens the door to her room, and you hear them exchange a “Hello” to each other, followed by laughs and giggles! I love watching them grow up together. Kaelem is a fun boy. He isn’t outgoing, but as he gets older, I see him coming out of his shell more and more. He is always happy, sweet, and kind. He’s very thoughtful and takes care of his little sister. Emberlynn loves people! She is not afraid to try new things. She will get up on the couch and try to fall off, whereas, Kaelem would cautiously figure out how to “fall” without really falling off, just to say he partook in the adventure with Em. Emberlynn loves to follow and learn things from her brother, and I often find them together. Kaelem teaching and Ember learning. I love experiencing life with them and watching them learn things. They have so much to look forward to in life. There are so many things they can do, so many things they can be. It’s exciting, really.  With as much joy and anticipation, I watch them grow into the man and woman they will become. At the same time, I worry, as I’m sure you do, about your children, their future, and their relationship with God. I pray that they will have a relationship with Him. I know how much God has done for me, who He is, and I want to share this with my children. I want them to understand that they need Him and that God loves them very much. Last week, as I was getting my hair done, my hairdresser and I talked about people in our lives who we knew loved the Lord at one time and chose to walk away. One young lady said she wanted to live life her way because it was fun. She didn’t want to change and had no plans to in the future. This breaks my heart. It’s a scary thing, watching people turn from God to pursue something that will destroy them. And I can’t begin to imagine what their parents are going through. I know the fears I have alone are enough to stress me out. Can you imagine what that would be like? If you have been through this, I want you to know I am praying for you and trusting that God will bring your children back to Him alongside you. As I was talking with my hairdresser, God began to open my eyes to these fears I had. You see, when I’m by myself, I let these fears run rampant. They can consume my thoughts, and before I know it, I am stressing about what to do or not do, what to say or not say so that I can be the best representative for Christ to my children. God’s Wants Personal Relationships But my relationship with God can’t be theirs. They must have unique relationships with Him because I am not them. They are their own person. My relationship with God can model and inspire; however, it isn’t the only way to have a relationship with Him. I desire that my children’s relationships with God be unique to them, but sometimes, I can find myself thinking about how I want them to see God and how they should learn about Him. I need to remember that they will experience God differently than me, and that’s okay. That may be in listening to wise, biblical counsel. Other times, they may have to learn the hard way. What’s important is that they each have a relationship with God. I know my heart and know that my relationship with God will never diminish. I will always love Him, and He will forever be Lord over my life. My prayer is that Kaelem and Emberlynn will love Him too. God Helps Us Navigate Through Worry The best way for me to navigate through this is to trust that God will continue to come to them, speak to them, and lead them, and for me to be faithful in the time I have with them. The rest, I must leave with God because He is God and I am not. I can’t make them have a relationship with Him. I can’t solve all the world’s problems, and I can’t answer every question they have. God gave each of us free will to choose Him or not. I must acknowledge that this also goes for my children. That’s one of the reasons we love God, right? Because He wants us to want Him but doesn’t force us to. I need to be thankful that He has extended this opportunity to my children, allowing their relationships between Him and them to be genuine. This is the reason I have a relationship with God. Because He gave me the freedom to choose Him. And through this waiting period, I can trust that God will teach me more about Him, help me walk with Him, and show my children what it’s like to be with God. “So My Word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11 NASB) God desires a relationship with my children, maybe more so than I. And He will go above and beyond to reach out to them and makes His love and grace known to them. “But He said, ‘The things that are impossible with people are possible with God.’” (Luke 18:27 NASB) We have a BIG God who does BIG things. He is faithful and caring. We can trust Him through this process. Knowing that our children can choose to reject or accept Christ, He has not only
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January 13, 2022
Inspirational My Thoughts

A Perfect Love

Understanding love is complicated. It’s not black and white, and there are many types of love too. There’s the love we get from our parents, love we get from friends, love we have for people in general, the love we have for our spouses. There is one kind of love that we aren’t always familiar with. Some of us may know this love, others may have known this love at one time, and others may have never known this love at all. God’s love. The Bible talks about a perfect person coming down to us, in the form of a baby, born of a virgin, sent to seek and save what was lost; you and I. When God created the world, His intent was to make man rule over it and enjoy fellowship with him. Everything was perfect. There was no divide, no fear. Just perfect bliss and relationship. Everything changed once that was broken (Adam and Eve chose to disobey God, experiencing guilt, shame, sin, and consequence). Feelings such as mistrust, selfishness, greed, doubt, and envy became a new normal. You see, when Adam and Eve were created, there was automatic trust. They experienced The love of their Father and Creator and had a wholly satisfying relationship with Him and each other. (Genesis 2-3) A Perfect Relationship There was no need to convince them that God was good because they knew Him. The earth self-produced. Every creature lived in harmony with one another, and there was peace and joy. There was complete trust. This was the life we were meant to live. A life with God. One with no sorrow, no pain, no remorse, no loss. Can you imagine what that would look like? Can you imagine completely trusting in people, never experiencing pain, hurt, mistrust, and never lacking in anything? To a small degree, I can, only because God is perfect. He is sinless and has created a place for me in heaven that is just like that. A place where there is no more pain and sorrow. Complete fullness. An Imperfect World Once sin entered the world through Adam and Eve, they began to mistrust God’s intention, desiring to elevate God and be equals. We see this natural evolution begin to take place. Out of Jealousy, Cain kills his brother. Adam and Eve’s son kills his brother. There was no need for anything like this. God had created everything and was satisfied with everything He made. It just wasn’t good enough for Adam and Eve. Could He have created robots? Sure. He could have made Adam and Eve so loyal that they couldn’t have failed God, but He didn’t. He was happy they chose Him because they wanted to. Because they desired to be with Him. God still cared for them and continued to walk with them and maintain their relationship. It looked different. They couldn’t live in the garden with Him. He never left them, though. Life would be hard, and there were consequences for their actions. The earth wouldn’t self-produce anymore. Not all animals were safe to be around, and the perfect relationship they once had with God and each other would no longer be the same. Fast forward, and we still see things like selfishness, greed, deception, mistrust, fear, and confusion. The world has its good things. Nature can be beautiful. Working with our hands and toiling can be worthwhile. But, it can be scary and uncomfortable. We still make mistakes. Cast judgments and interfere in ways that hurt people and us. God’s Perfect Love As we see in Genesis, God never intended for us to live this life the way we live it. He wanted perfect harmony and co-existence with Him. He is holy and blameless and created us that way too. We were set apart, made in His image, to live like Him and develop His character. To know perfect love and give it. Since God is perfect and hates sin, sin can’t be where God is. So what does He do? God knows that you and I can no longer partake in what Adam and Eve did before they sinned. We were people headed for eternity without Him. And since sin is laid out in the Bible as things like lying, adultery, idolatry, lust, hate, unforgiveness, jealousy, murder, stealing, and more, His compassion and love take over. God had this perfect idea. He sends His Son, Jesus, to be born of a virgin. Engaged to a man, committed to him, but not married so that it couldn’t be called his son, so that a miracle could happen. We could have a chance to choose that life again. To choose God and walk in holiness and forgiveness. This time, through a mediator, Jesus, we could be saved through His sinless death on the cross, so we could have life and not death. Do you see? When Adam and Eve fell, an angel, Satan, lived in perfect harmony with God. He had chosen God until he decided that he was more significant than Him. Once he and a third of the angels had turned on God, they were cast from heaven, and hell was created, Not for you and me. For Satan and the angels that rejected God. But that is sin. And after Adam and Eve sinned by disobeying God, that continued to happen and still does.  But our God still loves us. Knowing this, would you want to continue living in fear and shame? When we can live in the confidence of God’s love for us, knowing He has provided a way out. It’s not easy. We’ll still make mistakes. We’ll hurt ourselves and others, but because of God’s perfect sacrifice, sending blameless, innocent Jesus, an untainted gift, we can be forgiven and accepted. No one can ever repay a mistake or wrong they have committed. We could never fix what we have done, but God knew that. He sent Jesus to be the atoning sacrifice, the solution. Someone who
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December 25, 2021
Inspirational My Thoughts

Realities

Brokenness is hard. Nothing about being broken is easy. It’s vulnerable and humbling. As children, we grow up thinking life is full of these fantastic opportunities and experiences we’ll experience as we get older. We dream of becoming something and doing great things! Little by little, things start to shift. Our dreams, goals, desires, they change. But the idea that life will work out does not. Our high school graduation comes, and we begin to branch out, do things on our own, make something of ourselves. Then the college years come and go. It doesn’t matter that we eat ramen noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner or that our car is twenty years old and has three hundred thousand miles on it, we don’t care. We are going to make it someday. We see big things in store for ourselves. We meet our spouses, get to know them, decide to settle down with them, and all those ideas and dreams we had get lost and forgotten. As time goes by, we find ourselves working one or two jobs, having families, going with the flow of everyday life, and wishing we could take control of it. We are tired of the long hours, being under-appreciated, and working where we never imagined we would just to survive it all. Life is great, too; we have our husbands, our kids, a roof over our heads, food, transportation. But it isn’t what we had imagined when we were sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, or twenty. We were going to make it in this world. We hadn’t worked out all the details, but we had just enough to work with that we were hopeful. Some of us may have envisioned having a successful job, a wife, kids, and the ability to provide comfortably for them. Some of us planned on being full-time pastors, missionaries, or worship leaders. Maybe you wanted to be a full-time stay-at-home mom.  And it didn’t work out that way. You’re not in ministry, you’re not married, your job sucks, and your marriage may even be on the rocks. You’re Not Alone People everywhere are going through similar feelings. They are disappointed in themselves for not being where they thought they would be by now. They try as hard as they can, desperately trying to do whatever it takes to be anywhere but where they are right now. They do whatever it takes. Sometimes, at the expense of their morals and limitations. It is hard for those with a relationship with God to watch people who care little about others do hardly anything for themselves and succeed. We get nowhere, no matter how hard we try. It seems like certain people are thriving and don’t deserve to. The idea that other people are experiencing similar issues is not comforting. If anything, it’s depressing. Are there really more people out there trying to make it and falling short? How many people are actually succeeding without handouts, popularity, rumor, slander, bribery, and cheating? Is it possible to? Most of us aren’t famous. We aren’t related to any big names and are usually receiving no’s rather than yeses. Here’s a question we should probably ask ourselves… Why am I so focused on this? The Real Issue I’m sure your next question is, “What are you talking about?” I’m glad you asked. You see, there are things in my life, circumstances that I wish I could change. I know people who seem to accomplish something or receive opportunities I wish I could. But when it all comes down to it, what I have to ask myself is, “Would I really be content if I accomplished specific goals and dreams?” I mean, I would love to live in a nicer house. I’d love the extra space, the cozy fireplace I desire, my writing to take off so that my husband doesn’t work because he has to but can if he wants to. No limitations. More yeses and fewer no’s. The question is, would I be satisfied? No. I wouldn’t be happy because it’s all style and no substance to me. My dreams and goals mean little if their only purpose is to feel comfortable and good about myself when others see me. All of a sudden, these goals and accomplishments are there for my pleasure and enjoyment. They are there to please and impress people. Well, that isn’t very impressive after all. I am trying to achieve or accomplish something to impress others? Who Are You Trying To Impress? Are you trying to impress your co-workers? Maybe your boss? What about your father or mother-in-law? What about your parents? It’s actually a lot easier than you think. Our dreams can turn from something great to burdensome in a blink of an eye because we shifted our focus onto people and their opinions about us. Now I see, it isn’t about how much others are succeeding, even if they don’t deserve it. That’s just the icing on the cake. It’s more than wanting our desires to be fulfilled. “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10 NASB) When we move past the surface and dive deeper, we see that we are focused on people and how they view success in our lives. Can I tell you something? It’s probably better that your dreams to succeed don’t happen. Once they do, the temptation to refrain from humility and thankfulness will be greater than ever before. You’ll find yourself sitting high on a mountain you were never prepared to climb, and your view of people will change. How you treat them will be unimpressive. How you think about people will change. And your heart won’t be the same. Because one innocent, good dream turned into idolatry of men and things. Your heart turned away from God. And His heart for you and your
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December 25, 2021
Inspirational

Identity

This topic of identity has come up a lot in recent years. There’s a big confusion regarding seeing ourselves as we truly are. Who would you say that you are? Do you know? Before you list off a bunch of things, let’s take a moment to sit in silence, really take it in, and think about this for a little. If we take away every title, we have. Mother, father, brother, manager, employee, boss, friend, co-worker, nanny, daycare provider, teacher, engineer, programmer, consultant, customer service rep, who do we have?   Yes, I am a daughter, a mother, a wife, a friend. I’m a speaker, a teacher, a hostess, a babysitter, a cook, a writer, and a Christian. But there is more to me. These only represent aspects of the person I am as a whole. And when life strikes, when people hurt me, or things happen that are out of my control, my titles won’t get me through.   No, it’s not my title or my knowledge. Someone else, somewhere, knows more than I do, so it can’t be my knowledge of how to perform and do tasks. So… The Question That Stumps Us Who am I? I want to know that the next time I pause throughout my day or find myself in a situation that causes me to reflect on this question, I know the answer. I will believe it wholeheartedly and know that the answer will come quicker than the doubt. Our knowledge and confidence in who we are can help us in our relationships with people and the tasks of everyday life. Let’s dive in together, shall we? I am created I am loved I am chosen I am forgiven I am an ambassador for Christ I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me God Created Me (Genesis 1:27) “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Verse 28a says, “God blessed them;” You are made by our Creator God! You weren’t something that evolved from one thing to another. You ARE NOT a mistake. He made you and delights in His creation. You were designed and planned. You are like portrait on a canvas, being painted by the Master Painter. Our Master Designer made you! God Loves Me In Romans, we see that because God loves us, we have hope. We have a hope that isn’t disappointed because through His love, we can endure anything. “And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5) We are loved. And it is because of this love, we can do things and bring God glory and honor. (1 John 4:18a) “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear….” We don’t have to fear because His love drives out fear. God Chose Me (John 15:6) “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give it to you.” Jesus is very clear in His statement. He chose you and me. We not only have what it takes but we are wanted. What an encouraging thing to hear. We aren’t perfect, but we still have something to offer. And God notices it. We are worthy of being chosen because He makes us worthy. We didn’t have to do anything. He simply wanted us. Christ Has Forgiven Me If you don’t believe that you deserve to be forgiven or have been forgiven for things you have said or done, I can tell you that I have been there. It’s a scary place to be in. We will never be able to make up for the horrible things we have done, and some people will never find it within themselves to forgive us. It’s true. But One person’s forgiveness matters, and He does forgive. In Luke 7, we see a woman enter a Pharisses’ house. She knows that Jesus has come to dine there, and what we see is her coming to His feet with an alabaster jar full of expensive perfume. She pours the perfume on Jesus’ feet as she cries and wipes her tears from His feet with her hair, kissing His feet amidst all this. You know what He says? Out of everything He could have said, He chose to speak tenderly and directly to the needs of her heart and soul. “Then He said to her, ‘Your sins have been forgiven.'” (Luke 7:48) This woman was a sinner. She had done many wrong things in her life, but Christ forgave her the same way He forgives us. He loves and cares for us very much. God calls His Ambassador Just like Paul referred to himself and his companions as ambassadors for Christ for the sake of the gospel and Christ, we too are ambassadors. We represent Christ in our actions and words throughout our everyday life to all people. How we treat others, talk, and do things shows people who is truly influencing our lives. When we encourage one another, love one another, forgive one another, and spur each other in Christ, we reflect Christ to a people who don’t know Him. When we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior of our lives, He becomes the CEO of our hearts and soul. “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” (2 Corinthians 5:20) We are who we are because of Christ. And what we do, what we say reflects that. I am a mother because God has given me the ability to love like a mother. I am a teacher because He has molded me to be one. Most importantly, I am a
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December 25, 2021
Inspirational

Imperfections

I want to take a moment and be honest with you. I really hate that I do not have it all together. It frustrates me to know that I can’t go through life making things work out. Why can’t I say the right things and do things correctly and consistently? No, of course not! In a perfect world, I could strut around confident that my attire was not wrinkled. I could walk into a room full of strangers and not get choked up in my words and make a fool of myself. Wouldn’t that be great? I can see myself now. I could go about my day perfectly dressed, smelling great, my hair fixed up neatly. I could start a task and finish it. I could even do it and finish it with no complications at all. Man, I would be impressive! And you! My, you would be a sight! Your children wondering around composed and happy. You follow alongside them happy, accomplished, and carefree. You’d never have to worry about your ability to do things. Everyone would complement you, and you’d be an inspiration to all! Wouldn’t that be great? Instead, I must worry about my shortcomings. The things I know everyone sees. The things they say about me but would never tell me to my face. Unless it’s that one person who feels the need to point out all the negative things about yourself you already know. You not only have yourself reminding you about your flaws, but now, you have another person coming to remind you, more than once or twice. How do we get through this? It is so discouraging, isn’t it?   Life Isn’t Black And White  There are times where I am doing well. People are not mad at me, my children are behaving and happy, my house is clean, I don’t look like a slob in a messy bun, and my husband and I are on the same page! Other times, I say something completely wrong. I may offend someone, unintentionally and unknowingly, until I get a cold response one day or they completely ignore me. My kids fight with me, and I feel like I am the one who has failed them. My husband and I cannot seem to figure things out at the same time together, and I find myself wanting to hide away and give it all up for a day or two.   Don’t get me wrong. My kids make me happy, and I love being married to my husband. It’s not them. I really believe I just can’t reach my kids or please my husband the way I want them to be. As I get older, I realize that I really don’t have it all together, and I don’t have answers like I thought I did at one time. Have you ever found yourself on one or two spectrums, depending on where you are in life? On one side, you see yourself as someone who can’t get anything right. You continue to try, condemning and comparing yourself to others along the way. On the other side, you know that it will never work out no matter how hard you try. So, you throw your hands in the air and do the bare minimum required to get you through and try to survive.   I have been on both. And I was just recently on the “doing and condemning myself” side of the spectrum. Being ourselves is hard! There is no way around it. You and I don’t have things figured out. That’s a fact. If you know that you are not void of making mistakes and I know I am not, then it should be logical to remember that no one is perfect. But we can’t seem to remember that! Sure, we recognize it when we give grace to other people. But when it comes to us, the first thing our minds race to is how we see other women. We look at how they are living their lives. We don’t see them in their raw state, but we don’t think about that. We judge based off what we can see.   Critiquing Ourselves Isn’t The Answer Honestly, if we continued to judge and compare ourselves to others based on what we saw, we would be in a constant state of depression and hopelessness. While we are sitting in the middle of our chaos, drowning and suffocating, we see a friend or another woman triumphing and excelling in their life. What we don’t see is the process they have to go through. That’s just it, though! We are a process! I’m an imperfect soul trying to make it in life. Trying to glorify God and am in a constant state of growth. And that’s okay. You and I aren’t the only ones, sister. We are in a continuous state of change, in a world full of people in their own seasons of their lives.   Proverbs 1:5 says, “A wise man will hear and increase in learning. And a man of understanding will acquire counsel….”   Let’s give ourselves grace and patience. Let’s allow ourselves to grow, love growth, and stand with one another in love and harmony. Don’t condemn yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. And feel free to ask for prayer and help. Let’s support each other and find someone who can lift us up and who could use some encouragement themselves. I can think of a couple of women I can reach out to. Can you? If not, don’t be afraid to pray and ask around. In the meantime, feel free to reach out to me. Do you need prayer? An encouraging word? I may not be there to sip a cup of tea with you, but I can pray with you, and we can encourage one another. Thinking of you today, like always. We’ll get through this together. One step at a time.
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November 28, 2021